Bangin on a trash can

I played my first show in quite a while tonight. As usual nobody was there except for friends who have heard us a million times and probably don't care, but it was lots of fun.

I definitely know what I want to do when I grow up, but it's unfortunate that it probably won't turn out that way. I've had the last three days off (and one more to go) and I haven't felt so great in ages. I forgot how good my mood can potentially be when I'm away from my job and the ridiculousness that accompanies it.

Personally I think that every band I've ever been in has had some great strengths and it's really sad to think that some of them already faded into obscurity and had their "heyday" (ie, playing for like thirty semi-enthusiastic people) and the current bands are destined for the same fate. It's a shame because while I am definitely not a great musician, and the bands I've been in have flaws like any other, I know I've been involved in stuff that could blow away a lot of shit that's popular. I know everybody says that about their band. But I really believe it. I'm sick of the Slipknot clones, and the Avenged Sevenfold clones, and the emo bands. It's so easy to make a band that just copies someone else's work and not only do these people get away with it, people love it!

I feel like the music I've been involved in over the last four years is genuine, and it's too bad no one will notice or care. Not to make myself sound like a musical messiah or anything, because clearly I'm not, but I do get tired of these former jocks turned acoustic bearded softies, and the way-too-loud-for-his-own-good pretentious dicks becoming pretentious emo musicians, and so on. My friends and I just play our music. I won't say I'm a non-conformist or whatever because I don't really give a fuck. I've looked the same since I was 17 or so. Suddenly I almost blend in with these trendy bearded hipsters because of a mutual love for flannel and coffee and facial hair, except I don't go to college and succeed, then go to church and, the same day, smoke a bowl with the bearded brothas and play some indie piss.

Basically I don't feel like I fit in with anybody and I kind of enjoy it. I feel distanced from everybody in some way; my friends less so, but I still feel pretty different from all of them.

Anyway, what was I saying?

uh

Oh yeah.

I forgot my point again, which is that even though I'm a mediocre musician and my stage presence is at level -666, I mean what I play and so do my friends. We didn't just listen to what was hip and copy that, which is why I will spend the rest of my life at Pizza Hut, disappointing my family and friends, and becoming one of those washed up 40-something hairy guys playing in empty bars to drunken old sluts grinding on their own siblings.

Bye.