This is something else I wanted to mention tonight.
So when I was in kindergarten and we were learning numbers and letters, I rather involuntarily gave each number from one through nine its own color and personality. I remember three was a fat orange slob, four was a red hip guy, five was a very vibrant green and a nice guy, seven had shades and rode a motorcycle, etc. I gave the letters colors too, but not as many personalities. I still do it to this day, which is how I remember it. And the teacher never taught us to do that either.
When I started getting into music, around 9-10, I would "see" colors while hearing certain songs. Not all songs, though, which was/is a huge part of my determining whether something is good or not. Led Zeppelin was the first to really do it for me. The keyboard and guitar parts in All My Love (pinkish red), the eastern melodies in Kashmir (green and yellow), and all of Stairway to Heaven (green). I was into Soundgarden then too, but to be honest most of their music doesn't do many interesting mind tricks as far as colors are concerned, with a few exceptions (a lot of stuff on Down on the Upside as well as songs like 4th of July and Black Hole Sun). Some other songs that really groped my imagination as a kid (and to this day) were I've Seen All Good People by Yes, Scar Tissue and Under the Bridge by the Chili Peppers (mainly the end part with the "choir"), Have a Cigar by Pink Floyd (especially that lead synth melody and the guitar solo), any Hendrix, later Beatles (especially the songs on Magical Mystery Tour), and also a lot of Eddie Van Halen's guitar parts, which is a shame because I hate Van Halen (the band), but I really enjoy some of his guitar work.
I never thought much about all of that, because it was just always there, and nobody mentioned it, so I assumed it was just a part of life. When I was about sixteen Alex and I were hanging out and I learned that he experienced the same thing, and since then I've been exploiting the weird phenomenon when I play/write music.
So I was wondering if anyone else experiences this too. Is it something that everyone does, or am I a mothertrucking idiot? I'm assuming it's enhanced if you're on acid or something, but keep in mind I've never done drugs before so you can rule that out.
Also some other music that produces interesting results for those interested (yeah right):
In addition to what was mentioned earlier:
- Psychedelic music from the hippie era, of course. Hendrix and later Beatles were mentioned and are the best examples, but obviously a lot of music from those days works well.
- A lot of progressive/art rock, like Pink Floyd (any of it works), Yes (Fragile, Close to the Edge), early Genesis, King Crimson, etc. Another band that doesn't really fit in with the "progressive" label but give me the same results is Radiohead (sometimes).
- Jazz fusion: Mahavishnu Orchestra (the first two albums), late 60s/70s Miles Davis (Bitches Brew, Get up with It), some Jaco Pastorius, etc.
Anything with atmosphere: this could be anything from old jazz albums to old electronic music (Tangerine Dream and the like) and anything in between. Pink Floyd also fits here of course.
- Funk, when done by Parliament/Funkadelic, Sly Stone in the early 70s (There's a Riot Goin' On, Fresh, Small Talk), or early Incubus (Fungus Amongus). And by extension, any mellow rap (the mellow part is important), like a lot of OutKast stuff (Liberation, She Lives in my Lap, etc)
- Sitars and Arabic scales and bands that incorporate "world" music, like Days of the New (second album in particular).
- Anything made by crazy geniuses on drugs, like any Syd Barrett, or John Frusciante's first two albums.
And so on. Was this post too full of itself? Am I too full of myself? I didn't mean to be, sorry... :/
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Bangin on a trash can
I played my first show in quite a while tonight. As usual nobody was there except for friends who have heard us a million times and probably don't care, but it was lots of fun.
I definitely know what I want to do when I grow up, but it's unfortunate that it probably won't turn out that way. I've had the last three days off (and one more to go) and I haven't felt so great in ages. I forgot how good my mood can potentially be when I'm away from my job and the ridiculousness that accompanies it.
Personally I think that every band I've ever been in has had some great strengths and it's really sad to think that some of them already faded into obscurity and had their "heyday" (ie, playing for like thirty semi-enthusiastic people) and the current bands are destined for the same fate. It's a shame because while I am definitely not a great musician, and the bands I've been in have flaws like any other, I know I've been involved in stuff that could blow away a lot of shit that's popular. I know everybody says that about their band. But I really believe it. I'm sick of the Slipknot clones, and the Avenged Sevenfold clones, and the emo bands. It's so easy to make a band that just copies someone else's work and not only do these people get away with it, people love it!
I feel like the music I've been involved in over the last four years is genuine, and it's too bad no one will notice or care. Not to make myself sound like a musical messiah or anything, because clearly I'm not, but I do get tired of these former jocks turned acoustic bearded softies, and the way-too-loud-for-his-own-good pretentious dicks becoming pretentious emo musicians, and so on. My friends and I just play our music. I won't say I'm a non-conformist or whatever because I don't really give a fuck. I've looked the same since I was 17 or so. Suddenly I almost blend in with these trendy bearded hipsters because of a mutual love for flannel and coffee and facial hair, except I don't go to college and succeed, then go to church and, the same day, smoke a bowl with the bearded brothas and play some indie piss.
Basically I don't feel like I fit in with anybody and I kind of enjoy it. I feel distanced from everybody in some way; my friends less so, but I still feel pretty different from all of them.
Anyway, what was I saying?
uh
Oh yeah.
I forgot my point again, which is that even though I'm a mediocre musician and my stage presence is at level -666, I mean what I play and so do my friends. We didn't just listen to what was hip and copy that, which is why I will spend the rest of my life at Pizza Hut, disappointing my family and friends, and becoming one of those washed up 40-something hairy guys playing in empty bars to drunken old sluts grinding on their own siblings.
Bye.
I definitely know what I want to do when I grow up, but it's unfortunate that it probably won't turn out that way. I've had the last three days off (and one more to go) and I haven't felt so great in ages. I forgot how good my mood can potentially be when I'm away from my job and the ridiculousness that accompanies it.
Personally I think that every band I've ever been in has had some great strengths and it's really sad to think that some of them already faded into obscurity and had their "heyday" (ie, playing for like thirty semi-enthusiastic people) and the current bands are destined for the same fate. It's a shame because while I am definitely not a great musician, and the bands I've been in have flaws like any other, I know I've been involved in stuff that could blow away a lot of shit that's popular. I know everybody says that about their band. But I really believe it. I'm sick of the Slipknot clones, and the Avenged Sevenfold clones, and the emo bands. It's so easy to make a band that just copies someone else's work and not only do these people get away with it, people love it!
I feel like the music I've been involved in over the last four years is genuine, and it's too bad no one will notice or care. Not to make myself sound like a musical messiah or anything, because clearly I'm not, but I do get tired of these former jocks turned acoustic bearded softies, and the way-too-loud-for-his-own-good pretentious dicks becoming pretentious emo musicians, and so on. My friends and I just play our music. I won't say I'm a non-conformist or whatever because I don't really give a fuck. I've looked the same since I was 17 or so. Suddenly I almost blend in with these trendy bearded hipsters because of a mutual love for flannel and coffee and facial hair, except I don't go to college and succeed, then go to church and, the same day, smoke a bowl with the bearded brothas and play some indie piss.
Basically I don't feel like I fit in with anybody and I kind of enjoy it. I feel distanced from everybody in some way; my friends less so, but I still feel pretty different from all of them.
Anyway, what was I saying?
uh
Oh yeah.
I forgot my point again, which is that even though I'm a mediocre musician and my stage presence is at level -666, I mean what I play and so do my friends. We didn't just listen to what was hip and copy that, which is why I will spend the rest of my life at Pizza Hut, disappointing my family and friends, and becoming one of those washed up 40-something hairy guys playing in empty bars to drunken old sluts grinding on their own siblings.
Bye.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Mission Improbable
Sometimes I wonder where I am headed in the next one or two or five or ten or twenty years.
Actually that's all I ever think about.
Most of what I do feels like a dead end. People who I think are completely nuts and going nowhere in life have asked me what I plan on doing with myself, and I really don't know. Until junior high I didn't really have a concept of "growing up". I just figured I would keep going to school and something would just kind of happen as a result and it would be okay. That does happen to some people and it probably could have happened to me had I stuck with it but I didn't. When I reached junior high I had such a case of teenage angst that I didn't really care at all. If I become rich and famous, awesome, if I die, whoops.
Then about halfway through high school I suddenly decided I would seriously pursue music, and from that moment (2006) until I left MSU (end of 2007) I was sure that that was all I needed. A 16 year old in a band?! What a crazy concept. I guess it could have been promising to anyone, and I was somewhat seriously studying music at MSU as a chaser of sorts. You know, if the bands don't work out I could play in an orchestra or teach or something.
Well, I left MSU and then everything kind of lost focus. I don't think I ever did, but most of my bandmates did, which hurt my momentum (HAH!). I made a lot of progress from my first couple years of experiences in bands... not just musically but with the proverbial "coming out of the shell", at least a little. I still hate talking to people but at least I can perform in front of them with few reservations, unless singing is involved. :)
The last year and a half, musically, has been extremely slow going and monotonous. Since Media Frenzy broke up I have been working on recording the dozen or so songs that either didn't reach their full potential/exploitation from Media Frenzy, were intended for the band but never used, or have been written in the occasional creative bursts since then. I think if I ever, finally, finish some sort of cohesive physical document of what I've been doing and what I've been trying to do for the last four years, that would be the potential start of some interesting adventures. For now I'm still trying to learn to sing and be comfortable with it, as well as just finding the time between stints at my tedious dead-end job to record.
Oh, that's the other point of this, I'm tired of my job. The money can be good depending on the day, and I've made some good/great friends over the last three years, but mentally and vehicularly it is taking its toll, and how.
So yeah, I've been working very hard lately. It doesn't show to anyone but me, but hopefully someday it will. And then maybe I'd have created something I can actually be proud of.
It wouldn't hurt to make a little more money either, YUK YUK YUK.
Actually that's all I ever think about.
Most of what I do feels like a dead end. People who I think are completely nuts and going nowhere in life have asked me what I plan on doing with myself, and I really don't know. Until junior high I didn't really have a concept of "growing up". I just figured I would keep going to school and something would just kind of happen as a result and it would be okay. That does happen to some people and it probably could have happened to me had I stuck with it but I didn't. When I reached junior high I had such a case of teenage angst that I didn't really care at all. If I become rich and famous, awesome, if I die, whoops.
Then about halfway through high school I suddenly decided I would seriously pursue music, and from that moment (2006) until I left MSU (end of 2007) I was sure that that was all I needed. A 16 year old in a band?! What a crazy concept. I guess it could have been promising to anyone, and I was somewhat seriously studying music at MSU as a chaser of sorts. You know, if the bands don't work out I could play in an orchestra or teach or something.
Well, I left MSU and then everything kind of lost focus. I don't think I ever did, but most of my bandmates did, which hurt my momentum (HAH!). I made a lot of progress from my first couple years of experiences in bands... not just musically but with the proverbial "coming out of the shell", at least a little. I still hate talking to people but at least I can perform in front of them with few reservations, unless singing is involved. :)
The last year and a half, musically, has been extremely slow going and monotonous. Since Media Frenzy broke up I have been working on recording the dozen or so songs that either didn't reach their full potential/exploitation from Media Frenzy, were intended for the band but never used, or have been written in the occasional creative bursts since then. I think if I ever, finally, finish some sort of cohesive physical document of what I've been doing and what I've been trying to do for the last four years, that would be the potential start of some interesting adventures. For now I'm still trying to learn to sing and be comfortable with it, as well as just finding the time between stints at my tedious dead-end job to record.
Oh, that's the other point of this, I'm tired of my job. The money can be good depending on the day, and I've made some good/great friends over the last three years, but mentally and vehicularly it is taking its toll, and how.
So yeah, I've been working very hard lately. It doesn't show to anyone but me, but hopefully someday it will. And then maybe I'd have created something I can actually be proud of.
It wouldn't hurt to make a little more money either, YUK YUK YUK.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Peter Panniculitis
I feel like a little kid stuck in the body of a feeble old man. Some days I feel like a feeble old man stuck in the body of a feeble 20-something. I started feeling this way around the time I started growing facial hair (ie, about 12). It seems that every year I fall a little further behind in life and I'm trying to understand why.
Upon an initial impression of my life to this point it seems pretty typical of a 21 year old for the most part: I had a short stint in college, I've held the same (shitty) job for three years now, I've had my own transportation for 98% of the last seven years or so, I've been living somewhere other than my parents' house for a year and a half, I've played some mostly lackluster shows with bands that no one cared about, and I've had a serious and stable relationship for over a year now. That all sounds okay, right?
It just seems weird thinking about it. It seems like I've made all of these accomplishments reading that, but I don't have much to show for it. But that's not really the point of this. Basically what I'm trying to get across is that I still feel like I did when I was 12. I feel like I was born, lived life as a kid and then...? Nine years of some pretty drastic life changes later, I still feel like the 12 year old version of me. Eight inches taller, hair everywhere, voice changed, school finished, and converted into another working class peon, but I still feel like I'm stuck in 2001.
Mostly I don't think about it much, unless I am suddenly confronted by a very 'adult' situation. I cannot handle the people I grew up with smoking and drinking and getting married and popping out kids. I am unable to wrap my head around it. These things all make me feel extremely uncomfortable. Watching the people I grew up with living what are very normal adult lives is impossible for me to understand. Why do I not feel like I am part of that? Clearly I'm alive and not on the streets or in jail, so I must be doing something right. I feel like we should be playing video games for hours on end, eating some junk food, talking about girls and music, and all that jive. That still happens for the most part, but these same people have jobs and girlfriends (or wives) and there's alcohol and stuff involved and it all confuses me.
I feel like when I was about 12 I was pretty intelligent as far as academics went. I had no common sense (still don't) but mostly I felt older mentally than the kids my age. And I don't feel like I've progressed since then. Everyone else has grown up but I don't feel like I've changed inside for ten years. Mostly I don't think about it, but when I'm around my peers and see how they are living their lives compared to me, I start to question what is going on with me. And I really have to question where my life is going and what my purpose is. I still feel like a little kid who, while at the time was maybe mentally older than necessary, stopped short and hasn't progressed since then.
This really didn't go anywhere because I don't know how to articulate these thoughts, but at some point tonight it really started getting to me and put me into a weird mood for the rest of the night so I had to mention it somewhere. I realize that I basically just repeated the same thought over several paragraphs. It's 4 am so whatever.
Upon an initial impression of my life to this point it seems pretty typical of a 21 year old for the most part: I had a short stint in college, I've held the same (shitty) job for three years now, I've had my own transportation for 98% of the last seven years or so, I've been living somewhere other than my parents' house for a year and a half, I've played some mostly lackluster shows with bands that no one cared about, and I've had a serious and stable relationship for over a year now. That all sounds okay, right?
It just seems weird thinking about it. It seems like I've made all of these accomplishments reading that, but I don't have much to show for it. But that's not really the point of this. Basically what I'm trying to get across is that I still feel like I did when I was 12. I feel like I was born, lived life as a kid and then...? Nine years of some pretty drastic life changes later, I still feel like the 12 year old version of me. Eight inches taller, hair everywhere, voice changed, school finished, and converted into another working class peon, but I still feel like I'm stuck in 2001.
Mostly I don't think about it much, unless I am suddenly confronted by a very 'adult' situation. I cannot handle the people I grew up with smoking and drinking and getting married and popping out kids. I am unable to wrap my head around it. These things all make me feel extremely uncomfortable. Watching the people I grew up with living what are very normal adult lives is impossible for me to understand. Why do I not feel like I am part of that? Clearly I'm alive and not on the streets or in jail, so I must be doing something right. I feel like we should be playing video games for hours on end, eating some junk food, talking about girls and music, and all that jive. That still happens for the most part, but these same people have jobs and girlfriends (or wives) and there's alcohol and stuff involved and it all confuses me.
I feel like when I was about 12 I was pretty intelligent as far as academics went. I had no common sense (still don't) but mostly I felt older mentally than the kids my age. And I don't feel like I've progressed since then. Everyone else has grown up but I don't feel like I've changed inside for ten years. Mostly I don't think about it, but when I'm around my peers and see how they are living their lives compared to me, I start to question what is going on with me. And I really have to question where my life is going and what my purpose is. I still feel like a little kid who, while at the time was maybe mentally older than necessary, stopped short and hasn't progressed since then.
This really didn't go anywhere because I don't know how to articulate these thoughts, but at some point tonight it really started getting to me and put me into a weird mood for the rest of the night so I had to mention it somewhere. I realize that I basically just repeated the same thought over several paragraphs. It's 4 am so whatever.
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